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It gets WORSE!

Craig Koshyk


Don't ask me why, but I actually went back to the AKC site to check out some other breeds. Boy o boy, I wish I hadn't (is there some sort of sado-maso pattern emerging here? If so, drop me a line on my "private" e-mail account to discuss the various..uh...options....)

Anyway, as usual, I digress. To the rant at hand:

It looks like the German Wirehaired Pointer "history" posted to the AKC site is not the only one that reads like it was written by a thousand monkeys hammering away at a thousand typewritters. It turns out that a lot of them are the stuff of English and History teacher nightmares. Here are just a few examples....

The Portuguese Pointer: Initially the dog was bred in the royal kennels and but later became a very popular hunting dog for the lower classes of society.
"And but later", is that from Shakespeare?

The GSP: The German Shorthaired Pointer combined in field-dog requirements those qualities which have long popularized the various breeds of hunting dogs.
"...combined in field-dog requirements those qualities..". Yup, there you have it folks. Proof that our educations system is juuuuust fine.

The Brittany: The Brittany was named for the French province in which it originated as early as AD 150.
While the statement seems to be grammatically fine, it is, and please excuse my Français, pure and utter BULLSHIT!! I mean c'mon! 150 AD? Why not just go for the gold and say 150 BC? Throw in an reference or two to woolly mammoths and Jurassic freakin park while you're at it.

The Spinone: The Spinone Italiano, or Italian Pointer, is Italy's all-purpose hunting dog. It is also sometimes referred to as a Griffon, since that name formerly designated the hunting dogs of all Continental Europe.
This just in from the AKC: all hunting dogs from Continental Europe used to be called Griffons. Stay tuned for further fantasies and made-up ball-wash.

The Griffon: The origin of the Wirehaired Pointing Griffon came about shortly after Mendel published his experiments on genetic heredity, which inspired many Europeans to try their skills at breeding
Wow. Just freaking WOW. This is the FIRST sentence in the Griffon history and it is sooo out of the ballpark that I am sure Eddy Korthals is spinning in his grave just thinking about how wrong it is.

The Bracco Italiano: This dog of ancient Italian origin used for bird hunting has modeled itself and developed over the ages; from the hunting of yesteryear by means of nets, he has adapted himself to the present hunting and shooting. Frescoes from the 14th century are proof of the indisputable timelessness of the Italian pointer over the centuries, whether either regarding his morphology or his aptitudes at hunting as a pointer.
"whether either regarding"...yup, that there is real good English talking right there.

The Weimaraner: Throughout its early career, the distinctively gray Weim was propogated by nobles in the court of Weimar who sought to meld into one breed all the qualities they had found worthwhile in their forays against the then abundant game of Germany.
Is it just me or does this sound like something written by 15 year old girl desperately trying to sound deep and brooding?

WHO WRITES THIS SHITE? Please, for the love of all that is English and pure, make it go away!!!!

(insert emoticon symbol for curled up in the fetal position, rocking back and forth, eyes ablaze...) Shocked Shocked